May. 7th, 2016

Inventory

May. 7th, 2016 11:29 pm
knaveofstaves: A picture of an interpretation of the Knight of Wands Tarot card featuring the Egyptian God Thoth (Default)
I've been going through the usual depressive cycles lately, which is somewhat puzzling considering things should actually be going very well for me. I get to take a pretty rockin' trip to see some pretty rockin' people in a couple of months. I have a job I love, which could dovetail into a job I will love for a very long time. All in all, even considering that my living situation is bad and will continue to be for about another quarter, I should be relatively happy.

So why aren't I?

Well because I continue to run away from myself in stupid ways for stupid reasons. On the bright side, I think I might be in a place where I can acknowledge that improving myself isn't so much about cutting things out of my life (i.e. video games), but rather it's about learning to (somehow) budget my time better. Spending hours upon HOURS playing a strategy game that is more stressful than fun is maladaptive. Taking time now again to play something I haven't played or practice my speedrun is fine. What I need to do instead of wasting my time on games I don't enjoy anymore is REEEEAAAAAAAAAD. Also think about writing. I have a world to build after all, and maybe some short fiction to write if anything pops up.

So what I'm going to do from now is journal about what I've been reading/watching/playing. I need to remind myself at every opportunity what I'm doing to move forward, and the self-imposed obligation to write such reminders down is onus enough to actually move forward. So there it is.

Right now I'm re-reading Hyperion by Dan Simmons. And watching Lost on Netflix. The latter for reasons, I'm sure. At least it doesn't make me want to claw my damn eyes out, like a certian video game that shall remain nameless.

Now it's time to get back to the Poet's tale.

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knaveofstaves: A picture of an interpretation of the Knight of Wands Tarot card featuring the Egyptian God Thoth (Default)
Chad

May 2016

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